Monday, May 31, 2004

"Once that giant spider finishes eating my mom, I'm gonna f*ck the sh*t out of it!!!"

First of all, yes, I am censoring a few key words. Why, you ask? There is supposedly a big bad corporate security department here at work, and apparently they monitor for exactly those types of things. So my quote has lost a bit of its bite, but I like it anyway.

Chris and I were watching the Comedy Network last night, and spent a whole hour in pretty much continuous laughter from this one brilliant comidian, Sean Collins. (On a side note, it's a good thing that my wall-banging neighbour is gone for the summer). Anyway, it was the best laugh that I've had in a while. And this was my favourite quote of the evening.

In completely unrelated news, I had to work yesterday. As far as I can tell, it is the first time I've worked a weekend shift in about 3 years. It wasn't as terrible as I was expecting it to be, and in fairness, if someone wants to pay me $11/hour to throw on some jeans and continue surfing the internet at my desk, I'll take it.

Liberated at 2:09 p.m.

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Sunday, May 30, 2004

I guess I can't complain if it's free...

My hit counter seems to have stopped working. I thought that maybe just re-inputting (is that a word?) the code again would fix things up, but it seems that their website is all screwed up too. Not that I'm a hit-whore or anything, but I do like to know...

Although I do find it humourous that the stupid link that goes with the code is still there. However, it's never worked anyway. But if my 'payment' to Easy Hit Counters is a link that doesn't work, that's fine by me. Perhaps they've discovered that my payment is worthless???

EDIT: Woo hoo! As of May 31 @ 1:14 pm, I'm being counted again. But...ha! The advertising link still isn't working!

Liberated at 10:25 a.m.

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Thursday, May 27, 2004

I can't stop the madness!

Ever get into one of those situations where you utter a little white lie, just once, and it spirals into the biggest lie ever? If you have, then you'll understand how stressful my day was yesterday.

Before anyone gets up in arms, let me just say that this was not anything to do with my personal life, friends, relationship, etc., etc. It had to do with the bain of my existence and the one thing that could end up sinking me. School.

This little white lie first materialized back in January, and its grown thus far to epic proportions. I don't really know what's bigger than epic, so I'm hoping that it'll be ending soon. I keep digging myself deeper and deeper into this mess, and the shit hasn't hit the fan. Yet.

If I can make it to June 17 without any further changes to the plan, I'll make it out without even a scratch. But that's a big if.

In other totally unrelated news, I've been decidedly disinterested in the Federal Election to date. I had intended to comment fairly often on this blog - with at least what was going on in my riding of Edmonton-Strathcona - but I feel like doing nothing of the sort. Perhaps it's over-saturation already, or perhaps I just don't care...but I don't know what happened. Almost anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I'm an elections junkie. I thrive on this stuff. I even dream about it. So something is very wrong with this picture. I'll let you know when I figure out what the problem is...

Liberated at 8:58 a.m.

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Tuesday, May 25, 2004

My whole academic career is at stake today.

Wish me luck. I need it.

Liberated at 3:19 p.m.

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Monday, May 24, 2004

The shock!

The National Post, feeling especially benevolent, has made today's online version free. Check it out here.

And yes, as almost every other Canadian website has mentioned, the election writ was dropped yesterday. I'm faced with picking the lesser evil between Malcolm Azania (NDP), Debby Carlson (Liberal) and Rahim Jaffer (Conservative). After thinking a good deal on the topic, I've finally decided to vote in Alberta instead of Manitoba.

I'll have plenty to say about all of this. But not now...

Liberated at 7:17 p.m.

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Friday, May 21, 2004

Nothing like the taste of plastic to keep you goin'

I read an article once about how a week-old water bottle (as in, been used everyday and hasn't been watched) carried enough bacteria to shut down a city's water system...relatively speaking, of course. So being the incredibly responsible person that I am, I decided to go wash out my water bottle this morning, as it's going on at least two weeks with out a wash.

Always being one for extremes, I went to turn on the hot water at the sink and noticed something much more enticing: the hot water feature on the coffee machine. Ooh!, I think. If hot water helps to kill germs, than scalding water much annihilate all germs within a twenty-block radius! I'm so brilliant!

[Now, I know what you're thinking...don't worry, I'm getting there.]

So in goes the scalding hot water into my water bottle. Then in goes my water bottle. Huh? Yes, I admit it. It failed to occur to me that a water bottle - with its ever-so-strong plastic - might not be able to withstand that kind of temperature. We're not talking about a 'real' water bottle here...it's the kind that comes out of a vending machine. So my water bottle starts collapsing inwards. And I stop pouring water.

Now I'm staring at a lopsided, half-shriveled, yet still usable water bottle. My water now tastes like melted plastic, although it doesn't bother me enough to go buy a new water bottle. I wonder if the plastic chemicals that I'm drinking are more harmful that the germs that I was trying to kill...

Liberated at 3:41 p.m.

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Thursday, May 20, 2004

Get a room...

I think my black phantoms are makin' babies. Fascinating to watch, although perhaps a little dirty...

Liberated at 10:31 p.m.

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This is going to be a good day, dammit!

Well, I woke up this morning and felt so terrible that if someone had phoned that very moment to tell me that they would go to work for me for the low, low price of only $200, I probably would have accepted. I got more than enough sleep, but the problem was that I needed enough sleep for two nights, not one. Why didn't I sleep the night before, you ask?

Yesterday, I wrote one of my (many) deferred exams - my Business Law class. Being the incredibly organized and responsible person that I am, I didn't go to class (except for one, maybe?) the entire second half of the semester. Which was a rather fitting preparation for my exam studying. I picked up my textbook for the first time ever (literally) about 16 hours before the exam on Tuesday night. I chugged off to go study to - where else? - SUB, where I knew very well that close to 25 people whom I knew very well would be close by. And they would certainly not be studying. Good plan, uncharted!

This is the approximate timeline of that night/morning:

  • uncharted's May 18 & 19 Study Fun


  • 6:00-6:15 pm
  • walk to SUB with Chris

  • 6:15-6:45 pm
  • "get settled"

  • 6:45-7:00 pm
  • find someone I know (Janet), talk to her extensively

  • 7:00-7:30 pm
  • get an iced mocha, go to the hack lab to check my email

  • 7:30-7:45 pm
  • mob of Council people are on break, thrillingly swarming SUB and (sadly) making it impossible to study

  • 7:45-8:00 pm
  • count the number of pages I will have to read for the exam

  • 8:00-8:15 pm
  • go to talk Janet, and now Tyler

  • 8:15-9:00 pm
  • study! (finally)

  • 9:00-9:30 pm
  • have an extensive conversation with my mother about summer travel plans...she informs me that she could be showing up on my doorstep at a day's notice.

  • 9:30-10:00 pm
  • study!

  • 10:00-11:00 pm
  • mobbing of hacks (the meeting loses quorum)...they seem to think that my table is the hangout spot (which makes sense, given that I'm obviously not doing anything else)

  • 11:00-11:30 pm
  • Chris starts to study, Tyler hangs out ('cause he's cool!), I "half-study"

  • 11:30-12:00 am
  • eat pizza promptly delivered by Pizza 73, "half-study" some more

  • 12:00-4:30 am
  • real, concerted-effort studying

  • 4:30-7:00 am
  • studying mixed in with elbowing Chris to stop the incessant snoring

  • 7:00-8:45 am
  • study the last section of the course (totally new content)...which didn't end up on the exam. Anywhere. Yeah...thanks.

  • 8:45-9:00 am
  • drag Chris off the couch, head home to change and grab my work stuff

  • 9:00-9:45 am
  • fall asleep in bed...luckily Chris had set the alarm

  • 9:45-10:00 am
  • change for work, frantically discuss the written requirements of contracts

  • 10:00-10:15 am
  • we head to school, exhibiting enviable multitasking skills (cramming and walking!)

  • 10:15-10:30 am
  • hysterically flip through notes

  • 10:30 am
  • EXAM TIME!


  • As you can see, I have excellent organizational and time management skills...at least that's what I *tell* people at job interviews. But whatever...it's done and I don't care anymore. And anything that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger.

    Two more to go...

    Liberated at 9:08 a.m.

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    Wednesday, May 19, 2004

    One-eyed fishy still needs HELP!!!

    Be grateful, dear blog readers. Be grateful that this is not a post about a one-eyed fishy. I was lucky enough to read such a post today. It has, however, made me decidedly uninterested in running out and rescuing all the half-blind goldfish from the pet store.

    Why did I name my post One-eyed fishy still needs HELP!!!? It would be because I haven't slept in a long, long time and I'm afraid that I just don't have the capacity to think of a witty title right now. So, upon cruising around the Fishie Webboard, I found this thread and decided that it would be the title of my musings for today.

    So, I wrote my Business Law exam today. I started studying at about 7:00 pm last night, and went pretty much straight through until 10:30 this morning, with a few 15 minute naps thrown in for good measure. The exam itself went fairly well - especially considering that I didn't go to class at all and picked up the textbook for the first time last night. My only problem, you ask?

    Here's the situation... There are four of us writing this exam from two different classes. The Prof shows up at the locked room where we're supposed to be writing, and then leads us on a wild goose chase to find the Department Secretary's office so we can hand in our papers when we're done. Handing in our exams to the Department Secretary? Implying that there will be no one to hand in our papers to at the actual exam? Correct! We head back downstairs, the Prof lets us into the exam room, and then he wishes us luck and leaves. No supervision, no "come find me if you have questions", no "keep your notes in your bag". Nothing. I always wonder if people take advantage of those opportunities. Needless to say (because my post would have had a better title), the exam writing was uneventful and everyone's deviant tendencies remained tucked away.

    So now I've dragged my ass into work to try and look productive for the rest of the day. Its almost not worth it, but I suppose that $50 is...$50 I didn't have yesterday. Although I admit it does bother me that I'm not actually doing anything for my $50...either than posting on my blog...reading webboards and blogs galore...and of course trying desperately not to fall asleep.

    Back to...uhh...doing that...

    Liberated at 3:11 p.m.

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    Tuesday, May 18, 2004

    I think I've come to a terrifying realization. I'm not sure that I can sit at a desk everyday for the next 40 years. Why is this problematic, you ask? Every career choice that has ever been a possibility for me involves sitting in an office...preferably a downtown highrise, a corner office with a great view. But in all seriousness, this is very unsettling for me. Whatever career paths I've considered as (somewhat likely) options are all office based, and dependent upon computer monitors and email connections. It seems the more I try out this office life, through my various 'summer student' positions, the more I hate it.

    I watched a Food Network show last night called Opening Soon. Each episode follows a restaurant owner as they open up a new restaurant. I came to many conclusions during the half-hour show: the general contractor was kinda hot, the restaurant owner was an ass, people in Providence, RI dress oddly. The important realization? I would love to own something...to conceptualize it, to build it, to mold it to what I want, to devote sleepless nights to it and to see it thrive. The idea of leading the charge on something, and being solely responsible for its success (read: bypassing the corporate machine) hugely appeals to me.

    To those of you who know me, I can understand the look of shock that you must have on your faces right now. I've always wanted that corner office and that high-ranking title - I know that's what you're thinking. But the more I do this 'corporate' thing, the more stifled I feel. And even in the types of jobs I've had recently - where I can pretty much direct my own agenda and focus on what I want - I still feel suffocated by the corporate beast.

    "Why do it this way?" I ask.
    "Because that's the way it's done" is inevitably the reply.
    "But why, when this other way works better?" I counter.
    "Because that's just how it happens here" is what I'm left with.


    I want to be the one to decide "how it happens here". But that doesn't mean I want to take over the reigns of some big company so I can make the rules. I want to be part of that quirky, unique, I-want-to-get-up-so-I-can-go-to-work company; I want to create that atmosphere and love being a part of it, and let over people love being a part of it too.

    I'm such an idealist... My head is already descending from the clouds...

    Liberated at 4:17 p.m.

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    Monday, May 17, 2004

    Massacre! Dracula strikes again!

    We were warned not to name the new fish "Dracula", although I thought nothing of it at the time. I think that's because the rationale was something along the lines of "I wouldn't want a fish named after me." Well, in the totally ridiculous frame of mind that I've been in lately, I would love a fish named after me...so we named the new panda cory "Dracula" and thought nothing of it.

    Dracula, it seems, has killed his two panda cory tankmates. Although likely not on purpose, he's knocked off the entire panda cory population, leaving all of that fish food scavenging and plant exploring to himself. I think that he was likely a 'Typhoid Mary' - the carrier of a disease who was not affected by it.

    The worst part? We decided not to quarantine Dracula when we got him. On the off chance that anyone actually wants to know what I'm talking about, here's the deal... Whenever you bring home a new fish, you're supposed to quarantine it in a separate tank to make sure that it's not carrying any diseases it might of picked up at the fish store. Once you've watched the fish for a week or two (some people quarantine up to six weeks!) then you can plop him in the tank with all of the other fish, and be relatively sure that you are not introducing some sort of nasty disease.

    So anyway, we didn't quarantine Dracula. The place where we bought him from has one of the best reputations in the city, and maintaining the quarantine tank for two weeks is a pain in the ass. So we threw him into the main tank right away, and now we've got two dead fish. Although, I suppose that we would have put in him the main tank anyway, because Dracula himself is just fine - scurrying up and down the walls of the tank, busily exploring his new surroundings, trying to school with the other fish. Since he's looked healthy since we got him, there was no way of knowing that he was carrying a disease. The quarantine period would have been inconsequential. But I still feel horribly guilty anyway. Like maybe, living in the quarantine tank would have magically rid Dracula of whatever disease he was carrying.

    So it was particularly devastating when we got home last night to find the two panda cories (Chubb and Kitty) keeled over and totally colourless. I'd known that they weren't quite 100 per cent in the last few days, but I was hoping that a water change and some extra food would perk them up. So we got home, and checked on the snail (that's a story for another post) and I had the misfortune of looking into the tank in exactly the wrong spot. Needless to say, there was much crying and carrying on on my part - I am particularly attached to the panda cories (they are my favourite fish even though I proclaim not to have favourites). Luckily, Chris was there to get rid of the bodies...I couldn't even look at them, nevermind fish them out with a net.

    So this ends the story of Dracula...for now. If he starts killing anyone else, I'll be sure to keep you all posted.

    Liberated at 10:36 a.m.

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    Wednesday, May 12, 2004

    Goals?!? Am I supposed to have those?

    So, I've noticed a disturbing trend recently - in blogs, emails, general discussion, everyone seems to be talking about their goals. GOALS?!? I am supposed to have those?!?

    Ok, well in all fairness, I guess I've got them somewhere in my head. But the issue always seems to be the possibility of actually achieving these mystical goals. I think the problem is this: if there's any chance at all that I might not be able to achieve Goal X, then it immediately gets wiped off my goal list. It ends up leaving me feeling totally lost and unfocused.

    I can't even managed to set short term goals...like study three hours tonight or do two loads of laundry after work. Set the bar high, you say? Why bother setting the bar at all?, I'll respond. The moral of the story? It seems that I've gotten to the point where I've just stopped trying. I can see it in my personal life, at school, thinking about my plans for the future... If there's any possibility of rejection, failure, etc., you're sure to catch me running in the other direction.

    It's almost as if I've lost sight of my abilities; I don't trust them enough to allow me to think that I can reach that elusive goal. I don't think it's a confidence thing, or a self-doubt thing...I think it's just a negativity thing. My boyfriend always tells me that I need to be more position, that I always see the glass half empty.

    He couldn't be more right.

    Liberated at 11:42 a.m.

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    Monday, May 10, 2004

    Something is wrong with this picture...

    I have what could be my perfect summer job. It incorporates all of the aspects of my ideal future career, pays well, is in a great environment...

    The problem?

    I just don't seem to be motivated to do anything, and I'm only in my second week of work. This is most certainly concerning.

    Back to work...I hope...

    Liberated at 1:02 p.m.

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    Sunday, May 02, 2004

    On the subject of birth control...

    I just took my birth control pill. Again.

    This whole process seems odd to me. Everyday, I injest a little yellow pill out of an extreme fear of becoming a mother. But really, this whole thing seems ridiculous. For 10 years, I have taken a my little hormonal helper everyday. That's right. 10 years. Quit that...I *already* know the numbers don't work out.

    When I was 13, my mother decided that I should get a presciption for birth control pills. At 13, you ask? It was under the guise of always knowing my schedule, or something like that. However, I strongly suspect that it was so my mother could avoid the horrors of finding my hidden stash of birth control later on in my teenage years. Almost as if, by making up a problem to deal with in the present, she could avoid dealing with a much different problem years later.

    But seriously...what exactly am I ingesting everyday? I have *no* idea. I go on this blind faith that what I'm doing is good for me. And besides, it's just expected for 20-somethings these days. I can't think of a single female friend of my who *isn't* on the pill.

    It's interesting what having to take a little yellow pill everyday brings out in one's personality. I'm relatively lax about the whole issue. An aquaintance of mine, on the other hand, actually left where we were all hanging out, went home to take her pill, and then came back. Why? It was 7:00 pm, of course. I, however, am fairly lucky if I remember to take my pill at all. This, and obviously so, is an ongoing issue with my boyfriend.

    On another note, I seem to be covered in spots. I wonder what they are...

    Liberated at 10:20 p.m.

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