| Tuesday, May 18, 2004 |
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I think I've come to a terrifying realization. I'm not sure that I can sit at a desk everyday for the next 40 years. Why is this problematic, you ask? Every career choice that has ever been a possibility for me involves sitting in an office...preferably a downtown highrise, a corner office with a great view. But in all seriousness, this is very unsettling for me. Whatever career paths I've considered as (somewhat likely) options are all office based, and dependent upon computer monitors and email connections. It seems the more I try out this office life, through my various 'summer student' positions, the more I hate it.
I watched a Food Network show last night called Opening Soon. Each episode follows a restaurant owner as they open up a new restaurant. I came to many conclusions during the half-hour show: the general contractor was kinda hot, the restaurant owner was an ass, people in Providence, RI dress oddly. The important realization? I would love to own something...to conceptualize it, to build it, to mold it to what I want, to devote sleepless nights to it and to see it thrive. The idea of leading the charge on something, and being solely responsible for its success (read: bypassing the corporate machine) hugely appeals to me. To those of you who know me, I can understand the look of shock that you must have on your faces right now. I've always wanted that corner office and that high-ranking title - I know that's what you're thinking. But the more I do this 'corporate' thing, the more stifled I feel. And even in the types of jobs I've had recently - where I can pretty much direct my own agenda and focus on what I want - I still feel suffocated by the corporate beast. "Why do it this way?" I ask. I want to be the one to decide "how it happens here". But that doesn't mean I want to take over the reigns of some big company so I can make the rules. I want to be part of that quirky, unique, I-want-to-get-up-so-I-can-go-to-work company; I want to create that atmosphere and love being a part of it, and let over people love being a part of it too. I'm such an idealist... My head is already descending from the clouds... Liberated at 4:17 p.m. | |
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