Monday, February 28, 2005

To old for this...

It is 5:34 a.m. and I'm currently sitting on the second floor of CAB.

I need to learn how to say no.


Liberated at 5:34 a.m.

|
Friday, February 25, 2005

Like the moon...

(Again, I have no desire at present to type out an extended recap of the dinner in which my uncle played with morphine all night, and we talked about my stripper cousin. So, too bad for anyone who was actually looking forward to it. Although I can't imagine that anyone would fall into that category anyway...)

I am a very phasical (phasual? phase-ridden? phase-heavy?) person. I settle, short-term, into habits and perspectives that are extremely hard to break...until my next phase, of course. This goes for big things, such as projects for work, relationships, etc. ...but also for little things such as my morning routine, the same few songs that I listen to relentlessly on my iPOD, the TV show that I absolutely must watch.

I recognize that this is a part of who I am, but I can't quite figure out whether it's a positive or a negative. One thing that I can figure out, is that being this way helps me adjust fairly quickly to changes in my life...I've been accused from time to time of not liking (or adapting well to) change. Totally not the case, if my opinion counts at all. I just settle myself into a new phase, complete with new routines and that 'new phase' mentality.

I seem to be fairly entrenched in this latest phase...so deep that I wonder if I'm ever going to move on to the next one. I've settled comfortably into my routine and it seems to be treating me well. Currently on my daily list are:

- a little too much socializing and going out
- watching American Idol with almost a religious fervor
(now quit laughing!)
- over-involving myself (again) with the SU
- following the *exact* same morning routine, even on
weekends
- spending too much time on MSN
- a noticeable lack of meals of any sort
- listening to the same five songs to and from work everyday
on my iPOD (This Love, Surround Me, If I Ain't Got You,
One Great City and Can I Walk With You...in case
anyone is curious)

The good thing about this current phase is there really doesn't seem to be that much in the way of negatives. Even the "too much" points aren't all that detrimental. Many of you will notice that there's no...uh...school stuff anywhere on the list. That, unfortunately, is deliberate. Either than that, I'm fairly pleased with this little phase...so much so, that the next one seems impossibly far off.

Consistency is a good thing, but I think this may be getting to extreme for me...


Liberated at 7:44 a.m.

|
Wednesday, February 23, 2005

All he does is lurk under my hot water pipes and wait for a juicy ankle to go by that he can feast on...

Four things which desperately need to be done in my apartment, but I just can't bring myself to do because I'm just a tad squeamish...

  1. Clean up the broken pigeon egg on my balcony that landed right below where those stupid, smelly birds always sit. Lay your eggs in a nest, idiots! On a side note, does anyone have any suggestions for keeping the pigeons off my balcony?

  2. Scrub away the mold stain on my carpet. It's...uh...crusty!

  3. Scare away the monster in my storage room who keeps moving my stuff when I'm not looking. I swear, all he does is lurk under my hot water pipes and wait for a juicy ankle to go by that he can feast on...

  4. Figure out what the feathery wormy things are that just appeared in my tank. If it doesn't wiggle, I think it's all good...


And yes, I know I'm supposed to be posting about my grandmother calling my cousin a whore...but I don't feel like it today. I'm sure that you're all horribly, horribly disappointed. Or something.

Edited to add: I poked at the wormy things in my tank 35 minutes ago, and my right calf muscle has now been twitching for exactly 35 minutes... I'm hoping that it's a stress twitch (most recently hack-blogged about by my former BQ caucus-mate, Sarah Colpitts), but I'm wondering if the wormy things have made their way into my system...

.

Liberated at 6:31 p.m.

|
Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Back in the 'Peg, Part One: In which the teeny-tiny crotchety plane miraculously delivers me to the 'Peg

As most of you know, I went home this past long weekend for one of those ever-so-enjoyable family visits. I kept blogpost records of the whole thing piece-by-piece, and will be posting them in a rather disorganized and haphazard fashion. If you're looking for organization (or something interesting to read, for that matter), then you'd best look elsewhere for the next few days.

--------------------

Right on time (amazingly enough) on Friday, I snuck out of work with my suitcase in tow. I hightailed it over to the Chateau Lacombe and, when the SkyShuttle pulled up (late, of course) I was promptly ousted from my first-in-line spot by some obnoxious woman who drove up in a taxi and practically stepped on me in order to get into the van first. I didn't say anything (because passive-aggressiveness is fun!), but made sure that I elbowed her when I got out of the van. Um...whoops?

Despite being late arriving at the airport, I somehow managed to sit at the gate for over an hour. Luckily - thanks to Jones pointing me in the direction of free airport wireless and Janet, my airport msn buddy - it wasn't all that bad. Except for the woman who kept reading over my shoulder sitting next to me at the gate. I had no idea that SU elections were so damn interesting. Ok, well I did...I just didn't think that normal people thought so too...

I have always, always tried to go Air Canada instead of WestJet when flying back and from Edmonton to the 'Peg...better service, mostly better with arrival and departure times, etc. Well, I take it all back. I knew that there was going to be a problem when I started heading down the ramp to board...and the ramp kept going and going, and soon enough I could see my breath. Why, you ask? Well, lucky for me (or something like that), I had managed to book my seat on one of those teeny-tiny regional planes! Hooray! So I walked out onto the tarmac (yes, that's correct...I was standing on the tarmac watching mammoth planes roll by me) and waited to walk up those ever-so-sturdy fold-out steps on to the plane.

Those of you who've ever flown with me (I believe there are a few readers who can claim to have made it out alive on an excursion with me) will know that I'm not much for flying. It's not a fear of heights that's the issue (I used to - and sometimes still do - climb on anything and everything that looks climb-able to me...roofs, railings, trees, etc.), I think it's more a lack of control thing. Regardless, teeny-tiny crotchety old planes certainly make me more nervous than not-so-teeny-tiny, slightly newer planes. Take-off went surprisingly smoothly, with no disembodied limbs or passengers being sucked out of ajar emergency exits...

So, you know you're in a small plane when you sit down and you can't quite open your laptop all the way (I know I have a big laptop, but still...) The only thing that managed to placate me was Random Hot Guy who sat down next to me. At first, Random Hot Guy just plain pissed me off because he was one of those people who think that the armrest belongs entirely to them. However, he quickly made up for his little error in judgment by taking an interest in the Alias episode that I happened to be watching, and we spent the rest of the flight in complete SD-6 happiness, with a headphone splitter and several packages of that crappy Air Canada trail mix.

Landing, again surprisingly, wasn't so horrible. I bid adieu to Random Hot Guy and stood around on the freezing cold ramp for 10 minutes, waiting for my SkyChecked bag. As just a taste of what I was in for, my mother phoned me a total of three times to find out why I wasn't already downstairs while she was waiting. Fuck.

--------------------

And "Fuck" is where this blog entry will end. Still to come are "Back in the 'Peg, Part Two: In which my grandmother calls my relative a whore and my uncle plays with morphine" and "Back in the 'Peg, Part Three: In which 15 people and a baby are trapped in a house for 5 hours while the dog throws up". Exciting, I know...

.

Liberated at 4:00 p.m.

|
Saturday, February 19, 2005

Safe

I spent all of last night looking through the somewhat sparse evidence of my life. By all accounts, it was a good one...anyone who pawed through my old photographs and hidden mementos would know that. As I sat in the midst of my old life, I was overwhelmed with a sense of safety and, more importantly, total ease. It's true that I ran from this life as fast as I possibly could, some 3.5 years ago...but it wasn't life as a whole I was running from, it was one small aspect of that life that I could no longer deal with. As I sit here at my old desk, staring at pictures of my old friends, my feet on my bed as they always were…I almost regret leaving in the first place.

My desk is currently covered with pictures of Tony in his superman pose, our once-inseparable group of 3 couples smiling proudly on our way to graduation, the picture in front of the Eiffel Tower from my scholarship trip to Europe. The claddagh ring that my high school ex brought back for me from Scotland, the chocolate rose that I received from a co-worker on Valentine's Day. My old high school year books and the slate core from my mining adventure in Flin Flon. Maybe I'm just not as sentimental as I used to be, or maybe I take it all for granted...but I don't have these little things anymore. I have no box of treasures; no evidence of my life.

It's not that I don't enjoy my life in Edmonton. I have made incredible friendships, grown more than I possibly could have here in the 'Peg, and gone through many amazing experiences. What I now lack is that safe and secure feeling that I once had. It feels that I am in a constant state of turmoil...and every time when I finally claw my way out of it - as I recently had - I fall right back in again.

I have always been one to push forward, break through to the other side and keep going. Right now all I want to do is go back. I miss feeling safe.

.

Liberated at 8:54 a.m.

|
Friday, February 18, 2005

But one small request...

I leave for a torturous weekend in the 'Peg in about half an hour or so, and I'll post one blanket request to the lot of you whom I'll be msn'ing/emailing/etc. in the next few days...

Please! Do not talk to me about anything elections or SU-related!

Why, you ask? It's Hack Hannukah (tm Roman)! The next few days are my time away from all things SU to ponder life as much as I can while my mother tries to kick in my bedroom door to bond with me.

Wish me luck. I most certainly need it.

.

Liberated at 3:12 p.m.

|
Wednesday, February 16, 2005

I had no idea that Valentine's Day was so serious...

So I received a couple of V-day e-cards, but the Hallmark website was down so I couldn't access them. Because it was only an e-card, I thought nothing of it and went about my business. Apparently that's not what everyone else thought...

Really, people...they're e-cards. Just relax.

The email that I received from Hallmark this morning:

Dear Friend,

We owe you an apology. First, the most important three words of this letter - WE ARE SORRY.

This Valentine's Day, our site was up and down all day. For many of you, that meant frustration and wasted time when you were simply trying to send or retrieve an e-card.

We thought that we were ready to handle a huge amount of traffic on Valentine's Day. Obviously, we thought wrong. We were suprised by double the amount of traffic that we expected. And we cringe at the disappointment we caused some of you.

In short, we made promises to deliver that were not kept. And for those of you who experienced that disappointment, we are so sorry for any frustration we may have caused.

Rest assured this experience will serve as a lesson for us. WE are now challenging our team to reevaluate every step we took to prepare for Valentine's Day...because it wasn't enough.

With our deepest apologies,
The Hallmark.com Team

Liberated at 10:41 a.m.

|
Monday, February 14, 2005

I am...

...stressed out beyond belief right now. I need a vacation or something (but a real one this time).

...going through a spilly phase. This weekend I managed to spill a glass of red wine, a glass of moldy juice (yes, mold stains carpet in case anyone is curious), 3 gallons of fish water on my new dining room furniture, and kraft dinner all over my kitchen floor.

...glad that I am not one of the seemingly hundreds of people cramming into Hallmark elbowing their way to that last Valentine's Day card.

...stealthy enough that I've managed to keep my Purity Test score to myself. So far.

...excited that my step-brother *finally* proposed to his girlfriend (6 years, people!). The best part is that it was done in Vegas, right in front of that giant fountain at the Bellagio.

...impressively productive today.

...smoking again. But I'm working on it.

...living in a mostly clean apartment for the first time in a long time. Apparently the only way that I clean is if someone is coming over.

...a fishie miracle worker. Take that, columnaris!

...lucky to have such good friends who take me to the fishie store (well, three stores if we're gonna be picky about it) on two seperate occasions over two days, enjoy themselves, and then coin the term "fishie-storing."

...watching my "I NEED A CAR NOW!!!" fund growing larger. I realized this weekend that this is the first time *ever* that I have not had a car more or less at my disposal if I really needed to go somewhere. R.I.P. Capri-ster...

...looking forward to my dinner of (apparently) entirely heart-shaped things, or so I'm told. I think I'm afraid.

...going to be kidnapped and possibly murdered at exactly 9:30 a.m. on February 27. Can somebody please look after my fish for me?

...desperately trying to locate my puffy red vest. Seriously. Has anybody seen it?

.

Liberated at 2:01 p.m.

|
Saturday, February 12, 2005

Tonight's equation...

one slightly buzzed uncharted
+
one LRT ride home
+
one train car full of happy, also slightly buzzed passengers
+
two almost off-duty transit cops
+
a car-wide debate over which stop the cute gay couple should get off at
+
a craving for cheese toast
=
an interesting hour spent at BP's with random LRT people.


(And yes, I realize that I'm fairly lucky that I'm still alive. Although next week's outing with fishie guy could bring this lucky streak to an end...)

Liberated at 3:03 a.m.

|
Thursday, February 10, 2005

Random tidbits...

The timely: I ran out of room on the page while calculating my purity test score this morning.

The relevant: no matter how much I try to disassociate myself from the SU, it never works.

The emotional: an apology means more to me when it is given a second time.

The obvious: I'm no Martha Stewart.

The annoying: If the guy in the next cubicle doesn't learn how to turn the ringer down on this phone soon, I am going to kick him. Hard. In the neckface (yes, he has one).

The logical: Yesterday, someone on the LRT took it upon themself to pass along the best piece of advice I've heard in a while..."always beware of the guys who try to pick up on the train - if you go out on a date, you'll have to take a bus...and that's just not cool." Good to know.

The necessity: If I don't hibernate for a whole weekend sometime soon, there is going to be trouble. This weekend is busy, next weekend I'm out of town, and then it just go steadily downhill from there. Trouble, meet blogreaders.

The horrible: Sometimes it makes more sense to try and change things from the inside, instead of being the one who rings the doorbell and then sets the bag of shit on fire.

The insulating: It seems that I don't trust people anymore. This is bad, in case anyone is curious.

The calming: I'm planning on setting up a fish tank in my office next week. I haven't actually received approval for this, but I'm clinging to the saying that it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

The disconcerting: There are people out there who are totally incompetent and completely lack social skills...and yet they are in high-ranking positions and seemingly well-respected. Am I missing something here?





Liberated at 12:56 p.m.

|
Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Is this what I think it is?

Important news for post-secondary students will be highlight of Premier's special centennial TV address

Seriously. Is it? Because it really does make sense...and it's the perfect time...and I'm starting to wonder...



Liberated at 2:32 p.m.

|
Monday, February 07, 2005

The heart list...

  • The Apprentice
  • Webmail 2.0 Beta
  • 4/$1.00 grapefruit at Save-On
  • Driving everywhere! Wheeee!!!
  • "CookieMonster TiVo" (a.k.a. my constant Bit Torrent download)
  • The fact the my picture & profile is up on my work's homepage
  • My giant, mutant monster of a new fish
  • The new show "American Dad", in which "Steve Smith" (not this one) ran in his school election and won
  • 12" Powerbooks (or, to clarify, staring at them...I can't actually *have* one until the summer)
  • Sitting down in SUB and figuring out who's around by picking up their iTunes
  • Planning the best. roadtrip. ever.
  • Telling my mother that my priority while I'm home is going to the Brichardi breeder (*and* not getting into an argument about it)
  • Not going to sleep until 9:30 am on Sunday morning, and still managing to wake up this morning feeling somewhat normal


Liberated at 7:47 a.m.

|
Friday, February 04, 2005

10-10!

My observation for the day: I am too old (and too small) to be breaking up fights. Stupid boys and their stupid tempers. Sigh.

And I really, really (really) don't want to go to work right now. All I want is a nap. But apparently that is asking too much.


Liberated at 7:09 a.m.

|
Thursday, February 03, 2005

Purple monkey dishwasher!

It occurs to me that I haven't posted in quite a while. Well, it didn't so much occur to me, as I got annoyed at everyone telling me to update my blog. And since we all know that I always listen to irrational yelling (*ahem*!), here is your post... Of course, the consequences of a forced post like this is that I don't have much coherent to say...

After an insanely busy weekend suceding from Canada, I have still not managed to get caught up with my life. The weekend, though, was totally worth it. I was part of the Bloc Quebecois caucus at the 2005 Model Parliament, which could have been the most hackish caucus ever. By the end of the weekend, the BQ was made up of such hackish luminaries as Chris Jones, M. Mustafa Hirji, Dane Bullerwell, Shawna Pandya, Sarah Colpitts, Alan Cliff, Alex Abboud and myself.

Due to our hackish charm, stellar fake parliamentary skills and our fearless leader, the Bloc managed to pass it's bill in what seems to be the first time in Model Parliament history. While most definitely weakened by french-hating amendments, it turned out pretty well regardless.

While I am quite pleased with my obviously fabulous fake parliamentary skills (read: my only meaningful contribution was sending fake-flirtateous notes to creepy NDPers with Sarah in an attempt to increase the BQ ranks), I am even more thrilled with the survival skills that I displayed this weekend. I got home from Scholar's at about 2:30 or so and begin to bleed profusely from my bar injury (I'm so suing!!!). What do I do, you ask? Go to the hospital? Try to fix it? Ha! I promptly get on MSN and begin conversations with four different people to tell them that I'm bleeding all over my laptop! Whee! Although I would still like to note that I made it into the House before it started the next morning (thanks to Mustafa, who should really start his own online medical consulting business).

I have lots more to say, but I feel like I haven't slept in days (have I?!?)...so I'm posting the Bloc Bill (penned by Mustafa in between his medical consulting gigs) for your reading pleasure and heading back into my current zombie state.

Bill C-2
An Act to enact measures to restore balance to federalism and
to improve the quality of social services in Canada

Preamble
WHEREAS Canada was formed from two distinct nations with differing customs and laws;
WHEREAS Canada today has many different populations, each with differing wants and needs;
WHEREAS a federal system of government should allow for differing wants and needs of each population to be properly realized;
WHEREAS the Provinces can no longer fulfill their constitutional duties under the current fiscal arrangement;
WHEREAS the current fiscal imbalance is to the detriment of the peoples of Canada;
WHEREAS the inclusion of natural resources in the equalization formula impedes the growth of the poorest provinces;
WHEREAS the equalization formula arbitrarily uses five provinces instead of ten provinces to depress the equalization payments given to less bountiful provinces;
WHEREAS the Standing Senate Committee on National Finance recommended in March 2002 for the permanent elimination of caps to equalization payments;
WHEREAS the sovereignty of Provinces is threatened by their inability to provide services and, further, by the equalization program's depression of the poorest provinces' aspirations;
WHEREAS the federal government no longer pays the 50% cost of health care that it agreed to at the launch of national public health care in the 1960s;
WHEREAS the Government of Canada overtaxes its citizens;
NOW, THEREFORE, Her Majesty, by and with the advice and consent of the Senate and the House of Commons of Canada, enacts as follows:

Short Title
1. This Act may be cited as the Rebalancing of Federalism Act.

Interpretation
2. In this act, "Minister" means the Minister of Finance.

Rebalancing the Finances of the Federation
3. The Minister will identify at least $5.7 billion in program efficiencies, reductions, and eliminations and will report these to Parliament by January 1, 2008.
4. The Minister will establish a Provincial Debt Reduction Transfer program to reduce the debts of provincial governments.
5. Notwithstanding the provisions of Sections 3 and 4 of this Bill, the Minister will propose to Parliament by January 1, 2006 options for increasing the Canada Health and Social Transfer to be equivalent to 25% of the provincial health and education spending.
6. The Minister will present to Parliament by January 1, 2007 a proposal to eliminate both the Canada Health and Social Transfer and the Good and Services Tax such that heath and education spending by the provinces can be accommodated under provincial taxation powers.

Reforming the Equalization Program
7. The Federal-Provincial Fiscal Arrangements Act is amended such that the "national per capita equalization standard" be the national per capita yield of all the provinces for all revenue sources.
8. The Federal-Provincial Fiscal Arrangement Act is amended such that for fiscal equalization payments, "revenue source" no longer be defined to include the following for a province unless that province does not qualify to receive a fiscal equalization payment:
(a) forestry revenues,
(b) conventional new oil revenues,
(c) conventional old oil revenues,
(d) heavy oil revenues,
(e) mined oil revenues,
(f) light and medium third tier oil,
(g) heavy third tier oil,
(h) revenues from domestically sold natural gas and exported natural gas,
(i) sales of Crown leases and reservations on oil and natural gas lands,
(j) oil and gas revenues other than those described in paragraphs (b) to (i), and
(k) mining revenues.

Restoring Provincial Sovereignty
9. Where a province chooses not to participate in a program funded by both the government of Canada and the governments of the provinces, that province will receive a payment from the government of Canada equivalent to the payment it would have received from the government of Canada to fund the aforementioned program.

Coming Into Force
10. This Act shall come into force upon receiving Royal Assent.




Liberated at 1:05 p.m.

|
template © elementopia | image © istockphoto Powered by Blogger Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com

Free Hit Counters
Site Counter
This blog originates in Edmonton, in the wasteland that is Alberta, in the Great White North.

uncharted@gmail.com


What's Goin' On?
Geek v. Geek
Pundit-palooza
The Blog Routine (Anony-blogs)
Blogging All
Around Me...
Wasting Time?
Provincial Election Perversity
Thinking Not
Required
Spare Change?
Self-Discovery
Archives