Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Election Goodness...

Considering that I'm barely managing to find six hours a day to sleep, the posting won't be resuming until after the election (or more specifically, after I recover from my E-day hangover). In the meantime, this forward that I received today ought to do the trick.

Disclaimer: Posting these ads IN NO WAY implies support for the Conservative party, only support for laughing out loud at one's desk.

The next batch of ads from Team Pauly and the Liberal gang:

President Kennedy is gunned down in Dallas, Texas.
George W. Bush's home state.
Where a lot of wealthy American right-wingers live.
Some say the fatal shots were fired from a grassy knoll.
Where was Stephen Harper that day?
He isn't saying.
Choose your Canada.

***

Little Susie Smith, a seven year-old girl in Brampton, Ontario, has her bicycle stolen.
A pink bicycle.
With little streamers on the handlebars.
And who just happened to be campaigning in Brampton that day?
Stephen Harper.
That's who.
We're not making this up.
Choose your Canada.

***

On Nov. 30th, Prime Minister Paul Martin held a closed door meeting with US President George Bush.
What did they talk about?
We Don't know.
He Won't Tell us.
George W. Bush.
An American.
In our cities.
In Canada.
We did not make this up.

***

Stephen Harper is religous
He is named after a saint.
So does Stephen Harper have a hidden agenda to overthrow God and take his place?
We don't know.
He isn't saying.
Choose your Canada.

***

Stephen Harper has a dog.
You know who else had a dog?
Hitler.
Adolf Hitler.
That's who.
Did Stephen Harper train his dog to attack racial minorities on command?
We don't know.
He's not saying.
Choose Your Canada.

***

Stephen Harper ate at a Tex-Mex place once.
You know what the "Tex" in Tex-Mex stands for?
Texas.
George W. Bush's home state.
We're not making this up.
Choose your Canada.

***

Paul Martin owns a Fleet of Ships
Why does he have all those ships?
Are those ships Canadian ships?
No, and we aren't making that up.
A Prime Minister with a private navy? A Navy!
A giant navy that moves Canadian resources to OTHER COUNTRIES THAT AREN'T CANADA.

***

Paul Martin's company sells stuff for money.
What's the money for?
We aren't sure.
It may have something to do with Joseph Stalin's Gorilla-Man Warrior Project.
Mutant gorilla-men.
In Canada
Don't take that chance.
Stand Up For A Gorilla-Man free Canada.

***

Ok, maybe they're not real...but they're awesome nonetheless. Now please excuse me while I retreat to my map room and finish the canvassing schedule. Mmm...maps...

Liberated at 1:42 p.m.

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