uncharted waters

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Bah.

I'm officially old. This sucks.

Liberated at 4:16 a.m.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I apologize...

...for making a post just for the sake of posting.

I have nothing much to say - it's good to be back home, work is going well, the campaign has taken over my life, and I'm moving on the 23rd.

More to follow when I have the time and the energy. Just thought I'd let the few of you who were wondering know that I'm alive. Well, barely.

Liberated at 12:13 p.m.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

[insert string of random profanities here]

I need my sleep. It's not just a nice thing to have - it's a requirement. I require a certain amount of sleep in any given week in order to restrain myself from randomly bitchslapping people and having meltdowns when someone looks at me the wrong way.

So lately, given that I am home for about 7 hours a night, my ability to get the sleep I need is dwindling. 7 hours would be more than enough sleep for me on any given night, but this 7 hours must now include my wind-down time, a shower, etc., etc.

Tonight, my precious 7 hours (delightly closer to eight this time!) included too little sleep:

12:16 am - drag myself off of msn, try to go to sleep
12:38 am - get up, tinker with the toilet tank, which mysteriously won't stop running
12:44 am - realize that all of the little tricks that I have been taught to fix a running toilet are blatant lies
12:45 am - go back to bed
1:30 am - sleep
5:51 am - strange buzzing sound - not enough to quite make me conscious
5:53 am - buzzing continues. my UofA Fire Marshall instincts finally kick in, and I reach for my old hardhat and prepare to bang on doors
5:56 am - not yet having managed to get out of bed, I know concentrate on whether or not I can smell smoke
5:57 am - decide that the fire alarm in my building is actually quite pleasant compared to the horribly screechy, so-loud-you-can't-think alarms of buildings past
6:00 am - the fire alarm proves victorious and I roll of out bed
6:03 am - intense internal debate as to whether or not to go outside, or just risk being burned alive in exchange for staying in bed
6:04 am - stick my head in the hall...no smoke/noise/cleanliness of any kind
6:06 am - firetrucks!
6:07 am - sweatpants or jeans?
6:08 am - sweatpants
6:09 am - pack up purse (must! save! blackberry!), lock door
6:11 am - cold. but at least it's not the -9 billion that it has been all week. be thankful for the small things
6:13 am - more firetrucks (6, to be exact)
6:17 am - bitch with large group of girls, christen the 6th floor as the "boob floor"
6:19 am - somebody official-looking (building security? police officer?) walks around with a giant rottweiler. a bomb-sniffing dog perhaps?
6:20 am - firefighters are everywhere (and totally hot, but that's another story), but don't seem to concerned. we decide that, if something was wrong, they would at least quit sauntering and break into a jog
6:21 am - still cold, still chatting with neighbours
6:27 am - first firetruck leaves
6:31 am - ambulance (when did that get here?) pulls away
6:39 am - mad scramble for elevator spaces as we are let back into the building
6:44 am - part ways with neighbours, crawl back into bed
6:45 am - alarm goes off. fuck.

Liberated at 6:59 a.m.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

The great American tradition...

I took the time to indulge in one of the most-fabled American traditions today - watching a live OJ-style high-speed chase. The experience was made even better by the opportunity to watch the 'drama unfold' on Fox News, the blatantly right-wing, obviously stupider cousin of such luminaries as CNBC and CNN.

Imagine my delight, sitting on my (shockingly on-time) WestJet flight to discover not only a seat-back satellite TV, but a fine selection of stations including the ever-popular Animal Planet and the aforementioned Fox News. Flipping aimlessly revealed the usual daytime crap, until I stumbled upon the tell-tale Canada Goose formation of police cars zipping along some stretch of typical California freeway.

Sadly, I had already missed the first time the car stopped, surrounded by police cars, and had then sped off again - hopefully with the driver laughing as they went. I also missed the attempted car-jacking which involved one of the passengers jumping out of the car and trying to jump into the adjacent car while waving a handgun.

I did, however, manage to catch the live gunfire...a tad disconcerting - until ol' FoxNews let it slip that they were broadcasting a few second delay to ensure that no one died a horrible, bloody death on live TV. And thenI finally caught the surrender, after two more stop and start incidents.

So, not only will I admit to watching this little fiasco, I'll admit to watching a full 1.5 hours of it. It was so...sexy, I just couldn't change the channel. A live gun battle (well, live + 5 seconds) is almost impossible to turn off...seriously, I challenge you to do so, the next time you happen to stumble across such an overly-dramatized, almost-live spectacle.

Liberated at 8:27 a.m.

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