| Wednesday, October 19, 2005 |
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Can I sell the movie rights? Blog, have I ever told you about the house I'm living in? No? (And yes, I realize that "blog" can't reply. "Blog" isn't something that can make up responses on its own). So, I live in a big old house in the woods. Literally. The couple who owns it (and apparently half of town, while they're at it) lives on the main floor, and there are five separate apartments on the second and third floors. This house, as you can probably tell, is *huge*...each apartment is at least 800 square feet, never mind the space that the owners live in. The grounds are surrounded by woods, and contain a barn and stables, some walking paths, about a billion squirrels, a family of deer and no light whatsoever after dark. My house should be in some sort of horror movie plot. The owners are, shall we say, eccentric and I only hear their Doberman barking very late at night. There are supposedly people in all of the other apartments, but I *never* hear them. Occasionally, there are other cars parked on the grounds...but mostly my poor Jeep sits all by itself. There used to be a guy about my age living in the apartment next to me who drove a ridiculous looking little Saturn complete with flames...but he disappeared without a word. The current guy in ol' FlameBoy's apartment has developed a very creepy habit of staring at me as I get out of my car after work. Try to picture this: as I walk towards the apartment doors from my car, I can look up to find a tuft of hair and pair of eyes peering through the shutters at me daily. I'm pretty sure that he knows that I can see him, and yet he still keeps on staring. Then I rush past his apartment, into my apartment, and quickly lock and chain my door. The place is also teeming with insects, especially spiders. Now I realize that it's just the reality in a big, old house in the middle of the woods...but this house is *really* starting to push it. I have to do a daily bug patrol with my vacuum, and have become a bug removal pro - yes, those of you who know me should be extremely impressed that I can now actually dispose of these guys on my own. The particularly disturbing part is the window-spiders, however. I have to keep every single curtain in my apartment closed because of the window-spiders - the scenery is beautiful, but the window-spiders are not. Luckily, they're on the outside...but they're still more than creepy. I once looked out my bedroom window and counted 34 spiders busily making webs around my window frame. Giant, old house in the middle of the woods + Crazy owners w/ Doberman + Creepy pair of eyes and tuft of hair + Tenants that no one ever sees or hears + Thousands of window-spiders + Moth invasions (that story will have to be for another post) = Very awesome horror movie Anyone? Anyone at all? No? Alright, then... Liberated at 2:03 a.m. | |
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